(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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homework

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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