Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Fat people

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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PEANIS!

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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