Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

thumb_up thumb_down -9

say cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Like this joke, bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops