What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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