what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

Knock, Knock ...

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

LIFE INSERT COIN TO BEGIN!!! SELECT DIFFICULTY EASY

Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

What do you call two dog? dogs

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

Yo mamma is so old that she died.

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

Erectile Dysfunction.

Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

Paper shield.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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