Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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you first

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Nickelback

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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