Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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Rebecca Black

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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