How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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