What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

Davey Peterson.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

What's big and messy? A big mess

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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