A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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pee

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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