Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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