Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops