Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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24

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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