Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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