A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

thumb_up thumb_down +23

civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

girls lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops