How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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A man walks into a bar.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops