A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Mormons having fun.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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this is not an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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