- Anti Joke

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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