Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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a man said hi.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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