Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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donald................duck for president

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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