michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Harry Styles

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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once upon a time, it snowed

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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