What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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Rebecca Black

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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