How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

At least I dont have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

pickle sniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

7

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops