Your grandma's cookies.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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The Christian Bible.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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full house

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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