If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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And more;

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops