What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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im @ work, LOL.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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