Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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full house

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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