Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Hillary Clinton

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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Come In!

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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