A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

Samraj.

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

how may i help you

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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