How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What color is red paint? Red

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Lil' Wayne

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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