Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

thumb_up thumb_down +31

homework

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The joke below is absolute shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops