Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Im black

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops