knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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