why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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try slamming a revolving door

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k

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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