Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A baby seal walks into a club

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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jwe

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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