If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops