Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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