An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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Jimmy Saville

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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School

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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