This is not a joke or is it

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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