What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Gay's

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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