How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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knock, knock. come in.

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Dusters blow stuff.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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