How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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A Sloth runs...

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops