What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who's there? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops