A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

What did Delaware? A coat.

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

Mail | Print | Vote | Daft Punk Superheroes Lyrics Send "Superheroes" Ringtone to your Cell Songwriters: BANGALTER, THOMAS / CHRISTO, GUY MANUEL HOMEM / MANILOW, BARRY / PANZER, MARTIN Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

Whats funnier than 24? 25

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

JUST KIDDING^

Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...