How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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a potato flew around my room

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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