What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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http://richardfigures.com/

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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shauns beautiful

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops