Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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donald................duck for president

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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It smells like triangles in here.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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