*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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