In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Poop swing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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