- Anti Joke

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

So many dudes win with your mom who even knows if i'm your father!!

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

Woman's rights

whats long and stretchy? elastic

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

canada

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

8====D~~~~~~

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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