what time is it? 3:16

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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raisin boogers

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Autism speaks but not really

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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