What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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thumbs up!

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops