What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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YES! EXACTLY!

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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Black People.

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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