What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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