What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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9

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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knock knock. come in.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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What color is red paint? Red

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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