What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Gun Control

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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