Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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I had sex with my mother in law

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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